If you have never danced before, the questions you have are infinite, and so is the advice I have to give. Deciding to become a stripper is a very big decision and one that will affect the rest of your life; ie: please don’t take this decision lightly! I know what you really want me to address is what to wear, how to give lapdances, what to do on stage, how to talk to customers, other dancers, and club management, and I promise I will in future posts, but this being the first time I address new dancers, I really want to focus on the big picture. It’s definitely the most important part.
You need to take an honest assessment of yourself if you are just starting out dancing. Even if you’ve been working for a couple weeks, months, or years, this is a good thing to go back and do. Given the fact that negativity is contagious, and you are a good person, it is the right thing to do to handle your business appropriately and not spread around the toxicity of your demise. The maturity to determine if this is really what you need to be doing right now is the first thing to focus on. You need to be honest with yourself, for your own well-being and the well-being of others. I ask you to always bring that self awareness with you when you read my blogs. I don’t like denial, it keeps us from achieving greatness!
The very most important thing you need to survive as a dancer and to generally be a happy person is integrity. Do you feel like you really know who you are? When you say or think something, does it come from a place of sincerity? Do you consider the facts and adhere to them without altering the “truth?” Do you feel like you have a solid, firm, stable, and mature character? It’s totally ok if you aren’t there yet, but making it a goal is a necessity. People who go their whole lives without ever committing to a life that they deem worthwhile usually live under a veil of darkness. When you put a shaky character like that into a strip club, very bad things are imminent, and those things are the only things the public sees. If you are going to dance, please do so as a liberated, free, and independent woman (or man, or trans person!)
The next thing I’d encourage you to have is a sense of clarity. Do you have a pretty good grasp on reality? It’s important that you are the kind of person who does a lot of analyzing and soul searching-someone who can see when things are taking a turn for the worse and come up with a creative solution to the problem. If you are the kind of person who shuts down when she is afraid, or the kind of person who lies to herself and tries to keep up appearances when you’re falling apart inside, you should take some more time to think about dancing and work on that. If you have a hard time with this, I suggest meditating. Exercises on mindfulness can really help you evolve.
How do you really feel about yourself? Do you feel beautiful? Would your heart be broken if a customer told you that you were fat or a girl made fun of your c-section scar? This might happen. Even if you think you are perfect, people will find something to pick at. If you are the kind of person who obsesses, please don’t dance. If you have an eating disorder, this job also isn’t for you. The strip club takes everything that is wrong with how society views women and amplifies it times a million, and as someone who is already suffering as a result of a sick culture, the last thing you need is more negative body image shit. You need to feel really comfortable, and realize that when people say awful things about you, it has nothing to do with what’s wrong with you, and everything to do with what’s wrong with them. Inner strength is really key.
If you are touchy when people say things you don’t like and often find yourself in confrontation with the people you are involved with, you will probably have quite a few problems at the club. It really is best to be a level headed person. You have way more strength if you solve problems with logic than if you solve them with anger or rage or violence.
The qualities above and a generally positive attitude are going to be the most valuable weapons you can wield against the taxing environment you’ll be working in, and actually will be pretty useful tools for surviving life in general. Remember that just because you are reading this and will take these things into consideration, not every dancer (or person) does. You will encounter a lot of difficult people in this industry and knowing how to handle them is important. Do not measure yourself against other girls, and do not bend your morals for anyone, whether it’s in the name of agreement or disagreement. You know it’s a bad idea to do cocaine, and you also know nobody listens when you are irrational, so keep your head on straight and be able to handle confrontation with grace.
Not having all of the qualities you need to be a dancer right now doesn’t mean that you can NEVER be a dancer (or that you’ll never be happy.) You are an ever evolving being, and knowing what your weaknesses are gives you the ability to make a clear cut plan to improve. Stripping is a fun and exciting job, and it will have lots to offer you for many years if you allow it to, but just like you wouldn’t want to see Paris for the first time with a significant other during a break up, you don’t want to see financial freedom for the first time while you’re in the middle of a break down. If you are unprepared mentally, you will not only squander your entire income, but you will ruin the image of this awesome profession for yourself and never be able to return, not to mention add to the negative stigma we are trying so desperately to shake!
Thank you so much for visiting, and I hope this helps. Keep coming back!