If you have ever taken a basic psychology course or visited a therapist at some point in your life, you probably understand the term “conditioning.” Conditioning is what happens to us when we make the assumption based on past experiences, that A+B will have an outcome of C. For example, if every time you sold a lap dance, you got a lollipop along with your $20-40, you would come to expect the lollipop. Up close, it’s easy to see the simple connections we make, “If I smile on stage I will make more money.” If you know this works, it’s because you’ve tried it and you know it to be true.
If you take some time to reflect on your past, I’m sure you can see the patterns that have been set in your life based on your conditioning. If your father treated your mother like shit, you probably have issues in your relationships, you have either started dating abusive people, become abusive yourself, or both. If you had a lot of experiences traveling that made you feel free and weightless and amazing, you probably already have your next trip planned and are working on a way to achieve your travel goal. While I think that it is imperative that we explore our pasts to figure out what we are going to make of life today, what this post is really about is how what you do today greatly impacts the person you will be tomorrow.
Choosing to become an adult entertainer, you made a big decision. I stress the word adult because you really did take on a very grown-up task. Rest assured, stripping is not child’s play. If you want to be an adult in an adult industry, it is really important that you take responsibility for how you are currently conditioning your future self. If you have never seen a dancer in her 40’s or older who has nothing to show for her time in the club except for meth pocks and mental health issues, you know how real it is. It is not the strip club that trapped them, it was their own minds, and often their drug addictions. I hope you guys like bullet points as much as I do. Here are some things you can do to keep your mind healthy and keep you from brainwashing yourself into believing that this is all you will ever be:
-Keep your goal list close. It is important to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing.
-Consistently put positive things into your brain. Always have a project, something that you are reading, learning, working on, improving. The strip club is pretty negative and being in the “work all night, sleep all day, party and bullshit every other second of my life” will really knock the wind out of your future.
-Hang pictures in your living room of things you really want in life. I read this in a Feng Shui book once, the idea is that you spend the most time there and you will be burning the desires into your subconscious.
-Be aware of your subconscious mind. When you “numb-out” like most of us do at the club, there is still some aspect that is creeping in. Be aware of it, and find outlets to clear out this negativity. Running, yoga, writing, being in nature, long periods of solitude, therapy, and reading are some of mine, but maybe you love painting and have always wanted to learn French. Now is a great time.
-Pay attention to the people you are surrounding yourself with. Do not become friends with people who you do not respect. If your family is toxic, either keep them at a distance or start doing some ground work to improve the relationship.
-We share a collective consciousness that we cannot see or feel. Take responsibility for your share. Add only positivity to our shared thinkspace.
-Make a ritual of something you really love. It can be anything that makes you smile, just commit to doing it once a day.