Handling mean customers

Chase Kelly —  September 12, 2012 — 3 Comments

Customers can be pretty cruel.  I have been made fun of for my tattoos, for my skin tone, my age, my natural boobs, my build, and my personality.  It’s unfortunate, but unhappy people need an outlet for their misery, and since it typically backfires to speak to your wife like a piece of shit, it’s not uncommon that men come to the club to treat us that way.  The other day when I was telling my (male) room mate about something a customer said to me that had me really upset, he laughed and said, “Man, I’m gonna come to the strip club and pay a stripper to be really mean to her, that would be awesome.”  Instead of losing it on him, which I really wanted to do, I took it in stride and learned something valuable from his ignorance.  When customers (or anyone, really) treats you like garbage, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.  You cannot take personally the things that are said to you by men you meet in the club.  They really are only there to fulfill their fantasy, which you are a vessel of.  If a customer comes to the club looking to fall in love, and you are his type, he will fall in love with you.  If a customer comes to the club looking to take out his frustrations, you will become the recipient of his anger.

I know you didn’t exactly ask what to do in this situation, but since this is a how-to blog, I am going to take the liberty to tell you how I handle rude customers.

The initial reaction of most dancers is to get upset, or tell the customer to fuck off, or storm off and complain to other customers/dancers, but in my opinion, there are way better options.

Setting aside the fact that some of the best customers ever are ones that have had their nights converted from miserable to awesome, the most important issue here is that by allowing a comment made by one customer to have a domino effect on your evening is counterproductive, so the ABSOLUTE last thing you should do is dwell on it.   There is really no need to tell other dancers about it, unless they are new girls and you are worried about them getting their feelings hurt, or they are pros and you think that they can milk the money out of your curmudgeon.  Any other motive you might have for sharing your negativity is moot.

Telling the customer off is also counterproductive.  Girls love telling off rude customers.  Blowing steam feels good, especially when you are really angry at your job and the way that you are treated, but remember, just like you didn’t like when that rude customer took out his anger on you, you shouldn’t take yours out on him, even if he was incredibly hurtful.  The reality is, that unless he said something specifically meant to victimize you, it’s not worth it.  You are going to lose your cool and take out alllll of the negativity that the strip club put into you on this guy, and you are going to be doing it in plain sight of other customers.  Not only is this a misappropriation of your anger (you might be a great Domme, if you really like flipping out on assholes), but it makes you look like you’re on edge to everyone else.  Strippers are tough, we need to show people that we can handle ALL situations gracefully, not that we are fragile, broken little girls who break when someone says something mean to us.  Most of us have been judged all our lives, you can’t possibly say it hurts too bad to be talked down to by someone who pays for sweaty boobs in his face.

On top of it, this shitty dude *might* actually be a good customer (or his friends might be) and just because you don’t want to put up with his negativity, that doesn’t mean someone else can’t.
Some nights, I have no energy for rude customers, and in my younger days, I gave them what they asked for, but these days, when I have the mojo for it, I love those cranky fucks.  If they can avoid getting kicked out of the club by a bouncer for telling a girl that her pussy stinks or something else unnecessary, I can usually have them laughing and throwing money in no time, which turns the grump into a regular.  If we can get someone who hates EVERYTHING to love strip clubs, well then, ladies, we just got a tad bit richer.

The moral of the story is: If you’re the type of woman who loves a challenge: a kind interaction can warm a frigid heart and build you an incredibly generous and loyal customer.  If you don’t want to take on that particular challenge or the guy isn’t worth it, move on, but don’t dwell.  Their negativity isn’t about you, it’s about them.

Chase Kelly

Posts

Founder of SurvivetheClub.com. I have been dancing for 9 years and have been working in clubs and the adult industry in general for 14. Survive the Club is my passion project and I have faith in our community. Looking to increase the odds of EVERY sex workers' personal and financial success.

3 responses to Handling mean customers

  1. 

    You should add how you get the customers to throw down money after they were rude!

  2. 

    Summer,

    Don’t take the rudeness personal and attempt to be friendly and playful, keep trying different things until you find the thing that this person will like, tell jokes, ask him what hobbies he likes something that he likes will help you hone into the subject matter.

  3. 

    Loving your blog. I like this post the best! I’ve always either joked back with them just as harshly but playfully or embrace the men as if he were a child having a tantrum. Its funny sometimes men can cry attention louder then us women. Ignoring him made him follow me around.
    “Are you ready to talk like adults now?” 😉

    I love what your doing Chase Kelly!

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