Maintaining your Privacy

Chase Kelly —  September 28, 2012 — 8 Comments

Once you become a stripper, your privacy means more to you than most anything else.  When you share your ‘private parts,’ your private information takes on a whole new meaning to you.  It is easy to get angry with a prying customer; even “What’s your real name?” has set me off a few times.  This week alone I have been asked what part of town I live in on two separate occasions, and what my last name was once.  I get asked my last name quite often, actually, because my strip club character is 100% Italian, people want to hear my funny last name.  The most obnoxious thing about the prying is probably the civilian obsession with the industry as a subculture.  I don’t really want to explain the inner workings of sex work to a customer.  If you want to know how to be a stripper, read my website.  The more your customer knows, the less advantage you have, but talking is key and this is where they want to lead the conversation.  To formulate a plan, I did some research.

I think the most important part of sales, especially when you are learning how to be a stripper, is the ability to understand your client’s needs, and so instead of incessantly worrying about my own, I started considering where he was coming from.  Instead of the instinctual, “Why the fuck are you asking me this?” I started asking myself, “I wonder why he’s asking me this?” and the answer appeared, right under my nose.

Just like women, men want intimacy, and despite popular belief, they too know that intimacy is more than just sex. 

Sometimes guys just want to get to know the person that is grinding on them, it alleviates the guilt of objectifying someone’s little girl.  Now, please don’t think I am saying all customers feel guilty, but some do, and those are usually your money customers AND the ones who will treat you with the most respect.  These true gentlemen are your bread and butter, so don’t push them away!  This certainly isn’t stripper 101, but it’s something every stripper should know how to do.

My natural hustle turned out to be the best one and I am so glad I returned full circle to it.  When I first started bartending in strip clubs, I was 18 and I was worried about my safety, so I made up a story.  I used my real name, but I told people that I traveled 2 hours from upstate New York to work, because I didn’t want anyone to find out.  I formulated a fake hobby (horse back riding) and was going to school (I lied about which) and explained that it was why I worked in the industry, to fund my passions of intellectual success and equestrianism.  My candidness and sweetness set me apart from the other girls in the club who would protectively withdraw.  Even now that I have become a stripper, I still see those customers every time I go back home (about once a year, and it’s been 10 years since I was their bartender).  Although I don’t get much money from them, I appreciate their loyalty and their welcoming smiles; it definitely ups my hustle!

A girlfriend of mine was telling me that she admits to customers that her stripper name is not her real name, but when pressured, refuses to give out her “real name.”  Man, I know you want to establish your dominance; I understand the desire to be frank with guys.  During my first year actually dancing, I threw away my hustle for chaos and would even say things like, “It doesn’t matter, you don’t care about that, let’s just treat this like the transaction it is,” and although those guys usually still would get dances, they rarely stack them, and they NEVER become regulars.  This kind of hard ass, protective mentality makes you seem wounded, jaded, rude, cold, and ugly.  Guys want to see you shine.  YOU want to shine–So shine!

Say your real name is your dancer name, and that fake names are so 90’s, or have a fake real name on deck!  Chase Kelly is my dancer name, and Chase is short for my real name, Chastity.  Still sound strippery?  It’s ok.  Lot’s of girls have stripper names in real life.  Why isn’t my name italian?  I’m adopted.  Duh.

All you have to do is formulate a character.  It will make your life SO much easier.  Keep it consistent so you never have to remember who you told what.  Your stripper character should be as much like real life you as possible in personality, but all the details should be changed to protect your identity entirely.  You will feel protected, because now you are selling your character’s identity and time instead of your own, the customer will be pleased because he will feel like he is getting some special part of you that the other guys don’t, and you will have been morally sound throughout the entire process, despite your white lies.  These guys know that we are actresses as much as they want to deny it, so act, but do it well enough that they CAN deny it.
Happy hustling, ladies.

Chastity “Chase” Kelly

Chase Kelly

Posts

Founder of SurvivetheClub.com. I have been dancing for 9 years and have been working in clubs and the adult industry in general for 14. Survive the Club is my passion project and I have faith in our community. Looking to increase the odds of EVERY sex workers' personal and financial success.

8 responses to Maintaining your Privacy

  1. 

    I learned to develop the fake “real” name shortly after I began dancing. It caught me off guard how many people actually asked my real name. For a while I would kind of pull names out of the air as I went and just make sure I used that name to everyone all night. Then it hit me, I already had the perfect set up. Years ago, before we had ever met, my fiance dated a girl who was a dancer, one of the manipulative types you described. Well, since God knows we don’t always make the best decisions when we are young, he was drunk one night and headed into a tattoo parlor and had her real name, Shelly, along with a decorative tribal design, tattooed on the inside of his left forearm. It is not something that has ever bothered me and she has not been in his life during any time we have known each other. In fact, when him and I were just friends, which was about 2 years before we realized we were both blind and a little slow for not realizing we had each other, I would always tease him about it. I still give him a hard time every now and then, all in good fun. What I realized though was, not only did I have a perfect fake name, I had an alibi! From that day forward, my name has been Shelly West, West being my mother’s maiden name. My fiance and I have been friends with the general manager of the club I work at for quite some time before I started working there, so none of the managers have a problem with my man coming in to visit me at work. There are times when our schedules are so opposite, the only time we have to talk with each other is when he visits my club. So it may affect my money while I sit and talk to him for awhile, but he will encourage me to make rounds about every 20 minutes so I don’t miss business, he never gets jealous and always tells me that when I’m at work, my job comes first, and we never have any kind of contact in the club that is different from what I have with clients, so no one thinks I’m an ‘extras’ girl. However, if I have sat with someone for a while and done some dances with them, I’ve told them my “real” name by then, and they are not making sexual advances on me, they are someone I have enjoyed sitting with and shared genuine conversation with, they will ask what my fiance thinks of me dancing. I always tell them he doesn’t mind one bit, he knows its business, and I’ll tell them he comes in to see me on his way home from work some nights. I’ve had several regulars ask me to introduce them to him when he comes in, upon which they usually complement him on being not only a lucky man, but a good one as well. He’s actually gained friendships with most of my regulars, but that’s all beside the point. There is nothing better to back my name up than the fact that he always extends his left hand for a handshake and that always shows the tattoo of “my name” to them. I’ve had some people tell me after seeing it that they didn’t believe it 100% until they saw his ink! Other than the name, the town we live in, and the college I attend, I don’t lie to my customers. Like you mentioned in a different article, I have developed my regulars because I tell the truth, I am a genuine person when I am with them and that has establish a rapport beyond that of which most girls in my club could ever dream of. But there is a little bit of me that laughs on the inside every time I say, “Well, my real name is Shelly, but shh… Don’t tell” paired with a playful wink and smile, it works every time!

  2. 

    I love your articles! Please keep posting.

    • 

      Hi Jenna-
      Thanks! I have been focusing a lot on other professional endeavors as I have reached my first savings goal. Eventually, I will publish STC as a book, available for order. I hope you are doing well and have geared up for the summer!
      xoxo
      Chase

  3. 

    Also, I am just wondering, what do you think of using a fake ID/fake social to apply to work at a club? I want to protect my identity both inside and outside of the club, and want to make sure my job can’t follow me.

    • 

      DO NOT DO THIS. It is
      1) felony tax evasion
      2) not safe.

      God forbid anything ever happened to you at work, no one would be able to identify you. NO. HARD NO. If you are so uncomfortable with this industry that you need to use a fake identity more than just an alias, you should not be in it at all.

  4. 

    Love the posts! Sheds a whole new light on stripping and makes me realize some things I had never thought about before! Really appreciate you taking your time to make these.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. How hard lies hurt your business | Survive the Club - October 22, 2012

    […] Like I’ve said a million times before, your habits determine who you are, and while “hustling” might get you ahead for the moment, being manipulative will in the long term destroy your money AND your character.  Am I saying never lie?  Of course not.  White lies protect your identity, your safety, and your privacy.  (Read Maintaining your Privacy) […]

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