Once you become a stripper, your privacy means more to you than most anything else. When you share your ‘private parts,’ your private information takes on a whole new meaning to you. It is easy to get angry with a prying customer; even “What’s your real name?” has set me off a few times. This week alone I have been asked what part of town I live in on two separate occasions, and what my last name was once. I get asked my last name quite often, actually, because my strip club character is 100% Italian, people want to hear my funny last name. The most obnoxious thing about the prying is probably the civilian obsession with the industry as a subculture. I don’t really want to explain the inner workings of sex work to a customer. If you want to know how to be a stripper, read my website. The more your customer knows, the less advantage you have, but talking is key and this is where they want to lead the conversation. To formulate a plan, I did some research.
I think the most important part of sales, especially when you are learning how to be a stripper, is the ability to understand your client’s needs, and so instead of incessantly worrying about my own, I started considering where he was coming from. Instead of the instinctual, “Why the fuck are you asking me this?” I started asking myself, “I wonder why he’s asking me this?” and the answer appeared, right under my nose.
Just like women, men want intimacy, and despite popular belief, they too know that intimacy is more than just sex.
Sometimes guys just want to get to know the person that is grinding on them, it alleviates the guilt of objectifying someone’s little girl. Now, please don’t think I am saying all customers feel guilty, but some do, and those are usually your money customers AND the ones who will treat you with the most respect. These true gentlemen are your bread and butter, so don’t push them away! This certainly isn’t stripper 101, but it’s something every stripper should know how to do.
My natural hustle turned out to be the best one and I am so glad I returned full circle to it. When I first started bartending in strip clubs, I was 18 and I was worried about my safety, so I made up a story. I used my real name, but I told people that I traveled 2 hours from upstate New York to work, because I didn’t want anyone to find out. I formulated a fake hobby (horse back riding) and was going to school (I lied about which) and explained that it was why I worked in the industry, to fund my passions of intellectual success and equestrianism. My candidness and sweetness set me apart from the other girls in the club who would protectively withdraw. Even now that I have become a stripper, I still see those customers every time I go back home (about once a year, and it’s been 10 years since I was their bartender). Although I don’t get much money from them, I appreciate their loyalty and their welcoming smiles; it definitely ups my hustle!
A girlfriend of mine was telling me that she admits to customers that her stripper name is not her real name, but when pressured, refuses to give out her “real name.” Man, I know you want to establish your dominance; I understand the desire to be frank with guys. During my first year actually dancing, I threw away my hustle for chaos and would even say things like, “It doesn’t matter, you don’t care about that, let’s just treat this like the transaction it is,” and although those guys usually still would get dances, they rarely stack them, and they NEVER become regulars. This kind of hard ass, protective mentality makes you seem wounded, jaded, rude, cold, and ugly. Guys want to see you shine. YOU want to shine–So shine!
Say your real name is your dancer name, and that fake names are so 90’s, or have a fake real name on deck! Chase Kelly is my dancer name, and Chase is short for my real name, Chastity. Still sound strippery? It’s ok. Lot’s of girls have stripper names in real life. Why isn’t my name italian? I’m adopted. Duh.
All you have to do is formulate a character. It will make your life SO much easier. Keep it consistent so you never have to remember who you told what. Your stripper character should be as much like real life you as possible in personality, but all the details should be changed to protect your identity entirely. You will feel protected, because now you are selling your character’s identity and time instead of your own, the customer will be pleased because he will feel like he is getting some special part of you that the other guys don’t, and you will have been morally sound throughout the entire process, despite your white lies. These guys know that we are actresses as much as they want to deny it, so act, but do it well enough that they CAN deny it.
Happy hustling, ladies.
Chastity “Chase” Kelly