You Are Not a Slut No Matter What Anyone Says About It.

Chase Kelly —  January 13, 2014 — 8 Comments

I feel like this statement needs to be shouted from the rooftops of every building in every city in every country, and in every language, but especially it needs to be said to strippers and sex workers.  You are not a whore no matter what anyone says about it.  Your job DOES NOT determine your character, and it does not eclipse your values.  Many of you have had arguments with close friends and significant others in which the person/people you love most will tell you that you’re worthless.  “You’re a whore and no one will ever want you.”  is something I wish I could say I’ve only heard once, and only heard from one person I loved.  Talk about something that could cause a person to start to die inside.  But no matter what they say, don’t self stigmatize, do not believe it.  I wish one blog post could undo that feeling for those of you who have had it (and will in the future).  I wish it could undo it for me.

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This is the second best thing.  I can teach you what I’ve learned and I can show you how I’ve grown.  When people cut you down, when society does it to you over and over, when dead hooker jokes are on primetime television as though that girl is not a person, it’s easy to start considering it, even in the back of your mind.  When people say things like that it is because they feel weak and they need to kick you down.  Then they use your broken spirit as a step ladder to their own validation.  Do not give anyone that power.  Refuse to lower yourself to the “you” they want you to be.  Elevate.

The truth is that who you are is based on your character, which can suffer from being in this industry, but it’s mostly because of the associated lifestyle, not from the job itself.  I can sit here for hours and go on and on about how it’s the oldest job and that there’s nothing wrong with using your body for money, but you already know that.  If people you love are cutting you down, you don’t have stripper problems.  You have boyfriend problems, girlfriend problems, family problems, and maybe even identity problems, but being a stripper, escort, sugar baby, cam girl, dominatrix, or any other type of industry performer is not the problem, and it’s definitely not who you are.

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Your job doesn’t need to demean you, and if you feel like stripping makes you less of a person–you should quit.  Now.  Even if you don’t know what you’re going to do or how you’re going to do it; trust me-you’ll figure it out.  Work one more shift, make it a money night, and call it a day because really, you deserve so much more.  Maybe you can be a waitress or maybe a customer you know can help you find a 9-5, maybe you can live off of your savings until you figure something out (because you saved, right?)
If you are a stripper and you’re having a hard time with your identity, you can figure it out.  You can determine what is going to define you.  Instead of going shopping for your 100th pair of cheeky panties, you can make a plan to implement some community service or charity into your life.  Instead of sleeping in bed all day and ordering delivery every night for dinner, learn to cook, or at least get great at dining out.  Developing your other “non-stripping” skills and values is going to be essential to feeling like you are a real human being with a real purpose in life.

Untitled 6At some point I stopped being a stripper and became an entertainer (when I learned to dress myself and perform on stage and give a great lap dance).  Next, I graduated from being an entertainer and became a hustler (when I learned about sales, especially in the commodity industries), and now I have a day job in a luxury industry, because instead of seeing me as a useless stripper, smart people saw that I was a well developed individual with integrity, honesty, work ethic, intelligence, knowledge, and hustle.

If you let it, money will replace passion and drive in your life, so don’t coast.  Spend your time defining yourself, and it will be much easier to identify the TRUE problems in your life (like the people who drag you down and diminish your self worth) and get rid of them, or better yet use them as a ladder and climb.

happy hustling, you beautiful humans

chasekellysignature

Chase Kelly

Posts

Founder of SurvivetheClub.com. I have been dancing for 9 years and have been working in clubs and the adult industry in general for 14. Survive the Club is my passion project and I have faith in our community. Looking to increase the odds of EVERY sex workers' personal and financial success.

8 responses to You Are Not a Slut No Matter What Anyone Says About It.

  1. 

    Truly said – Who you are, is based on your character, which can suffer from being in this stripping industry.
    thanks for sharing such a nice blog.

    -Nikki
    http://www.frenchiesgirls.com

  2. 

    Reblogged this on She's a Goddess and commented:
    I’ve been a sex worker for a month now and one of my concerns was if people found out, how they would see me. No doubt “slut” would be the first thought in their mind… But I’m not. What I do does NOT define who I am. This is simply a step I’m taking that’s getting me closer to achieving my end goal. So go ahead & think negatively about me, it’s not gonna stop me from making $$ or being successful. It’s just gonna push me more to be the absolute best I can be.

  3. 

    Oh my god I can’t even begin to tell you what reading this and watching the video with Lizzie at the end of this did for me. I have been struggling my entire life with depression, anxiety, self doubt and addiction. I began dancing when I was 19 and did for several years. I had my first child at 16 and got married at 20. My entire life has basically been defined by the people around me and my addiction. I have never stopped to look at myself because I fear the pain that digging up past experiences and mistakes. Watching the video made me reexamine the things I have been doing lately and the direction my life is going. I love being a dancer, but I have often felt like I was doing the wrong thing because of what other people have said about me… This blog has changed something in me and has given me the kick in the ass I needed to start looking inside for approval and not outside of myself. I realize that if I can not live with the things I have done, then how can anyone else live with me?? I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know that this comment may appear to be me rambling, I am having a hard time putting words together. I want you to know that this page has light a fire in me, and I believe in what you are doing. Thank you so much. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you.

    • 

      I hope you are still opening doors and striving for the good life! Get in touch with a therapist if you haven’t already and keep working, you can do it! Great job b ❤

  4. 

    They sell their bodies for money is their another word for that other than whore? Strippers are whores!

    • 

      Im going to go ahead and just let your comment ride, because I think that people need to know what kind of ignorance they will face when they make the decision to dance.

    • 

      Chase can let it ride because she’s a better person than me. I’m going to tell you to fuck off. Sometimes it’s better to stay silent and allow people be unsure of your stupidity, rather than open your mouth to confirm it.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks:

  1. Stripper Love//The Manipulative Man « www.SurviveTheClub.com//A STRIPPER BLOG - March 26, 2014

    […]  If you are over 25 or have children, you are a “single mom with no other choice.” We know men are going to judge us and when they are angry, we know the easiest target is our jobs.  That’s something that’s hurt me, but […]

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