Chase Kelly —  February 27, 2015 — 6 Comments

Strippers deserve good customers, and today I received an email from a strip club regular asking what he can do to enhance his experience as well as yours.  While I am going to answer him personally, I also wanted to open up the comments section so you all can weigh in as well.  Below is the email I received from John.  You can view my response and leave your own in the comments.

Hi Chase;

I wandered in here through looking at strip club ettiquette because I quite enjoy it even if I don’t make enough to partake very often.  I found Mounting and Counting blog and then came here.  I like that you bring a healthy but safe veiw of stripping.  I share your thoughts that it shouldn’t be something to be embarrassed, insulted, or demonized.  I also appreciate that you take it realistically since it will affect ones position in society, no matter how wrong society’s position is.

After reading your post with the rape warning, I definately want to be as respectful as possible next time I go.  I didn’t see post with eittiqutte for guys so I’m asking here.  I’ve got the don’t stalk, ask them to come home with you, or calling out insults.

I’ve thought that maybe slacks would be politer to wear than jeans since the preformer will be rubbing against me.  Do you have a prefered outfit for your clients?  Slacks and polo for casual nice, but suit to indicate that one is there to spend lavishly and be treated the same?
Are there ways to know if your dancer is ok with touching or should I specifically wait for her to say so?
Do you have any other advice that would make the night more enjoyable for both parties?


Chase Kelly


Founder of SurvivetheClub.com. I have been dancing for 9 years and have been working in clubs and the adult industry in general for 14. Survive the Club is my passion project and I have faith in our community. Looking to increase the odds of EVERY sex workers' personal and financial success.

6 responses to Weigh in: CUSTOMER CONVOS


    Hey John-
    We like CLEAN slacks and put on some cologne! We are sniffing you and like nice smelling, hygienic guys the best. Bring mints or gum for your breath and feel free to offer them to your preferred entertainer as well. We want to smell sweet for you too! Denim is fine but if you are getting lots of dances, it can cause rub on our butts and boobs, so make sure that they are soft, high quality denim, no starch! Suits are kind of off putting to a lot of dancers because they can be intimidating and come off as snobby. Also, it kind of makes you a target for vultures, so I’d suggest some decent slacks and a button up (sometimes we will unbutton you for skin to skin contact if you make us feel comfy, too!)
    Asking where you are allowed to touch is a nice gesture but lots of young dancers don’t know how to answer. The short answer is: don’t touch her boobs unless she specifically tells you you are allowed. You can test the waters by placing your hands on her hips and legs and seeing how she reacts. If she seems uncomfortable, don’t push it. If it seems cool, ask respectfully, “May I touch your breasts?” A polite and non-vulgar word choice will add to her comfort level. Nipples are generally off limits to anything more than gentle brushes. No one wants to be tweaked, pinched, bitten, or licked on their nipples by a stranger (sorry. true.) If you are looking for higher milage, opt for a private room if it’s available. It can be really tough on a dancer if her coworkers and other customers see one guy getting “more.” Privacy rules.
    Never put your hands on her vagina. Don’t crawl your fingers so far up her legs that she feels like her vagina is in danger of being touched. Don’t put your hands on her butt cheeks and spread them apart (that hurts really bad and we hate it.) The vagina is something that a suitor is invited into, not something that is meant to be prodded by intruders.
    If you are going to ask for contact info, don’t. You can offer your card or ask for an email address, but accept it if you never hear from her. If you want to know if/when she is working, it is always acceptable to call the club and ask if she is there.
    Finally, tip. It makes a difference, even if it’s only a 20 for every 100 you spend, we appreciate it. If you pay the same as everyone else, you will be treated the same!

    Thanks for your question, you’re great!


      Wonderful answer and thank you for the tips. I have been going to clubs and have made enough friends in the industry that I myself know most of this. But it’s great for everyone to learn and I learn more every time I talk to a dancer. One thing I never used to do but have started doing is tipping for a conversation if I do not get any dances. The ladies are there to make money and their time is money. If I have a nice conversation with a girl but decide not to partake in a dance I tip at least the cost of a dance. She has entertained me (that’s her job) and should be paid for her effort.


        Steve, another thing you could do is ask dancers to rub your shoulders or neck for the time of a dance and pay her the same…I love massaging my customers and its nice because you can talk if you want to, or you can just relax and enjoy your spa date 🙂


    I wish more men asked questions like this. 🙂


      I know! So refreshing. You’d be surprised at how many search terms are looked at about being a strip club customer that I get hits off of, though….(of course there’s a lot of “cum in pants lapdance” ones too….c’est la vie..)


    Nice initiative to bring to the world information which is sought after but secretly….

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