Stripping Isn’t A Fall Back Plan

Chase Kelly —  April 7, 2015 — 20 Comments

Images of young girls accompanied by the words “Fuck it, I’ll be a stripper” have been littered all over the internet as of late. Our generation has adopted a belief system that says that women are too weak, stupid, unmotivated, or damaged to assimilate to modern society. The strip club offers a lucrative alternative in which financial planning isn’t necessary to immediate survival, so it’s expected that girls who have an underdeveloped sense of self-esteem, body issues, or a history of trauma will just “give up” and become strippers. They don’t know what else to do.  Although these women actually exist, there is a serious imbalance between the “stripper princess” and “lowlife stripper” ideals that are being portrayed in the media, and it’s up to us to set them straight. They are BOTH inaccurate.

For me, being a stripper does not mean giving up on life, but I also know that being pretty and getting paid for it doesn’t make me royalty. This industry is full of amazing, powerful women, many of whom have been soldiers from the day they sashayed out of the womb, all pink, bubbly, and ready to take on the world. They have done everything but given up, they have found a new model for success. However, despite the fact that being a dancer will not make you weak, pathetic, addicted, or ‘slutty,’ in large part, making this decision requires awareness that other people will see you in a negative light when they find out what you do, and if you are running the risk of becoming the girl who dances because she can’t do anything else; it’s time to change that.

The reality is that a lot of dancers do start to embody awful things, because they fail to plan, prepare, or take responsibility for their lives. Dancing is a cop out for a lot of people who can’t figure it out any other way. You need to make sure that it isn’t you who turns out badly, all while dealing with the fact that some people will always confuse you for those strippers who really can’t get it together.

Perhaps you are thinking, “I have already been labeled my entire life, I really don’t care if people think I’m a stripper whore or not,” and that is a realistic sentiment. Chances are, if you are beautiful, you have already been labeled a ‘slut’ or a ‘bitch’ for your entire existence, whether or not you’ve promiscuous or rude. You have learned to live with being judged, and in your short life you have grown accustomed and calloused to being hollered at, coveted, objectified, targeted, and dumbed down. It’s your right to do what ya wanna, and I hold the ability to customize my lifestyle very near and dear to my heart. I just wanted to remind you all that you are in charge of yours, and no matter what anyone thinks, if you’re setting proper goals and hitting them, it’s of no consequence what anyone else thinks.

Chase Kelly

Posts

Founder of SurvivetheClub.com. I have been dancing for 9 years and have been working in clubs and the adult industry in general for 14. Survive the Club is my passion project and I have faith in our community. Looking to increase the odds of EVERY sex workers' personal and financial success.

20 responses to Stripping Isn’t A Fall Back Plan

  1. 

    “Math sucks… I’m going to be a stripper!”

    Honey, if you can’t do basic maths, you are not going to last a second as a stripper.

  2. 

    Thank you for this! I’ve been trying to articulate why these GIFs bothered me so much and YES, this is exactly why!

    They just don’t know what it takes….

    http://www.oddjobsurvivalist.blogspot.com

  3. 
    Victoria Lynn May 8, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    Great post. So glad I found this blog. I have not danced since 2008 because I did the ” right thing .” Got married, graduated college, started working a F/T gig in counseling drug addicts and offenders. Imagine what???? Outside of the club and having a ” good job” I have experienced more sexual harrassment, discrimination, exploitation and stress than I ever experienced stripping. You were spot on that we came out sashaying and surviving. Going back to the club to make the kind of money I am worth.

  4. 

    Wow. Couldn’t have said this better myself. I was a waitress and a stripper, I’ve worked 9-5 jobs where I was treated as a less intelligent being because I was a woman, and being a stripper was the job where I felt the least degraded.

    • 

      Having control over your boundaries makes a huge difference. Using the intimidation factor I get to exploit while being naked and at work really keeps dudes in check. They feel so in control in the outside world but know in the club that they are in our house, you know?

  5. 

    this is completely unrelated to this post, but not sure where else to put it and I’m sure the ladies who write for this blog have had similar experiences. So I’ve been dancing in the same club for the last 9 months, so not really a newb, but I still feel like a newb. The girls at my club pride themselves on an unwritten “stripper ettiquette,” which as far as I can tell basically just consists of getting to stage on time and not hustling guests who are seated at the stage if you are not the one who is dancing it. Seems pretty fair to me, but everyone knows there are exceptions. for example, while I was on stage last night, I talked a bachelor AND his buddy into two separate private dance sessions. A third buddy insisted on paying for the bachelor’s experience, which I had him do beforehand. When I got off stage, it took the guys a little while to get their shit together, actually the entire next set. I kept reminding the guys to tip the next dancer on stage while we were waiting on guy #3 to get his cash. despite the fact that she probably made more tips than if i hadn’t been sitting with those guys, saying “tip her tip her” every other second, the dancer still looked a little miffed that i was even there, although she didn’t say so.
    After the bachelor and I finish his private session, he says that he wants to tip me generously but needs change. I am not worried, say that he can tip me after me and Guy 2 are finished, so I go back to that stage to get guy 2 for HIS private sesh. Guy #3 asks why bachelor is getting me money; “didn’t we pay you?” I say that he simply wants to tip me generously, so at that Guy #3 pulls out a 20 and hands it to me, saying, “he’s not paying for anything tonight.” At that, the girl on stage (a new girl) comes over and yells in my ear “don’t fucking hustle my stage.” and goes back to the other side of the stage. I was very shocked that she could be so quick and presumptuous to just assume I just came up out of nowhere to to steal her stage tips. When I tried to explain what was going on she just screamed, “I don’t give a shit!” She then complained to another dancer and THAT dancer started screaming at me from across the stage while I was trying to get Guy #2 away from stage and to our sesh. They both then started complaining to a passing by manager, so then I felt the need to leave the guys and explain myself to the manager (he didn’t really seem to care either way, btw). Her and her friend wouldn’t drop it. They both called me bitch passing by in the locker room afterwards and later on the floor. When another one of her friends stopped to say hi to me, she yelled “move along, we don’t talk to bitches like that,” I tried to approach her with the most vulnerable demeanor and body language in attempt to work it out, but she just stormed off before I could get a word out. The ego side of me says that she doesn’t get to just go around treating people like that, that she is not irreproachable, but the peacemaking side of me says that she is young, probably comes from a rough background (has that hood-rat vibe and was complaining about an abusive partner in the locker room), it was very hot temperature wise last night, and it’s not going to affect my safety or ability to make money. Are you familiar with situations like this? Is it my fault?–Should I have approached her first and foremost before coming back to my clients at the stage (like, “hey, these guys bought dances from me, i’ll make sure they tip you while they settle up with me?”–i just didn’t want to steal her time with insecure babble since the stage was pretty full.) Should I be concerned for my safety and talk to a manager before it escalates further? Or should I just ignore it and realize there is nothing to learn from the situation, sometimes girls can be jerks too, she’ll probably forget it and move on to some other drama?

    • 

      Scarlet, hey! You probably have this figured out by now but, ignore this shit. Tip the manager a $20. Tip the DJ $10 more than normal, and ignore the hate. Be super nice to the staff and never ever stoop to their level. Eventually, they will start talking shit to customers, thinking it will make the customers hate you. You will think it’s affecting your money until you realize it’s actually making the customers like you EVEN MORE. Go to yoga, meditate, and stay focused on rising energy. I know it sounds hippie dippy or whatever, but it works to visualize your energy literally rising up above things. Your money will only grow and theirs will only shrink. Stay focused and have the bouncers close enough as friends that they won’t try and fight you. Good luck, young Jedi Babe.

  6. 

    Luv this blog and this article great write up.. thx u #Stripper_JOBS

  7. 

    I just became a stripper, and the girls are saying I have to follow certain rules, like I only get two minutes to see if a guy wants to buy me a drink or dance and don’t mess with girls regulars or they will “chew me out” should I follow these rules??

    • 

      Be wary of spending too much time with one person if they aren’t spending money, that’s for sure. I never sit with a customer for longer than an entire song if they haven’t at least shelled out a tip. If you are lingering at tables too long you keep it so that the customer feels comfortable spending time with dancers without spending. If you know theres a sale to be made but don’t know how to make it, be bold, ask up front. Don’t wait for a customer to bring up a dance or a VIP. If he says yes, he’s yours. If he says no, move on and check back later.

  8. 

    Chase, I’ve been reading your blog and I really appreciate your honest up front take on this subject.
    My daughter is considering becoming an exotic dancer and has a couple interviews at clubs scheduled for this Friday. She’s pretty nervous and feeling unsure of herself right now.
    I am wondering if you’ve finished your “is dancing for me” booklet yet.

    • 

      Hi JoRae-
      I haven’t finished, but I would like to offer your daughter a free 15 minute phone or Skype consultation before she works tonight or afterwards to assess her feelings/options. I know how scary it can be, and I totally commend you (and your obviously strong relationship with your daughter!) for doing the research and not being a mean, unsupportive mom. This job will make changes in your little girl’s life that you may not understand, but knowing that her mom is there for her and doesnt condemn her will make it easier for her to find her path. No one wants to disappoint their mom, so good for you for being awesome! Im sure it isn’t the easiest thing for you to do!

  9. 

    It’s been said that if you can’t afford to give an adequate gratuity, you can’t afford to go out at all. With strip clubs that is especially true. They are not bars or music venues, and just hanging out and watching is dreadfully rude.

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