Sex workers and strippers face so many of the same issues when it comes to relationships. Can a stripper have a boyfriend and not be miserable? Yes. Are those relationships few and far between? Absolutely. Even as dancing becomes more accepted, the stigma remains the same for the majority of men.
If you’re under 24, you’re labeled as a person with no self esteem and daddy issues. If you are over 25 or have children, you are a “single mom with no other choice.” We know men are going to judge us and when they are angry, we know the easiest target is our jobs. That’s something that’s hurt me, but it’s something I can live with. It really helps me detach from someone actually–when they are so low to call me names because of my job. Goodbye, sir. You are done.
What I can’t live with is the manipulation. What many dancers don’t realize when getting into relationships is that there is a large number of men looking for “sugar mamas” or even subsidiaries (there are stripper pimps, you know about them if you live in the South or North East) and sex workers are known for having expendable income and a lack of love in their lives. There are wolves looking for lambs who need to be loved, and which one of us can definitively say that we don’t need it? It’s really hard for a boyfriend to be comfortable with a job like ours, so if early on your guy seems way too comfortable or encouraging, don’t be ashamed of doing a little homework.
A parasitic boyfriend won’t complain about your job ever, because he plans on paying his bills with your ass. Please watch your money. Please don’t give it to anyone, please only invest in yourself. Please never trust someone who expects you to purchase their affection (unless, of course, you have hired them to do that, like so many men have hired us to do.) Please know your worth (priceless) and require that your needs are met (or walk!)