If you have become a stripper that really can’t handle life or responsibilities, it’s time to come clean with yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you want to be a stripper to help you get through a tough financial time, or if you want to be a stripper to help you achieve your goals, pay for school, start a company, etc. There is not even anything wrong with being a stripper simply because you like it! Often times, though, all being a stripper does for girls is support their dysfunction. If you are one of these girls, it’s best that you at least admit the problem. It may seem weird, awful, uncomfortable, and a huge affront to your self-esteem to admit that you simply cannot function in modern society, but truly, the first step in fixing a problem is identifying it. Admitting that you are stuck doesn’t mean that you are doomed for life, it means that you are self-aware, that you have the clarity to admit you need some guidance, and that you at least are aware that your lifestyle could use some tweaking. Admitting a problem means that you are not insane. Ignoring it means that you are.
Have you ever met someone who is bat shit crazy and everyone knows it but the actual crazy person (Hi, Mom!)? That is the result of self-denial. That is what happens when there is a problem with your personality and you choose to ignore it, say, “It’s fine!” or joke about your bad life decisions. Like cancer, early detection is the best cure for a diseased lifestyle. If you catch it, you can change it. If it goes ignored for too long, though, it spreads like wildfire and mental illness comes in and grabs you. Let’s not pretend that the strip club will be around forever—eventually we will be too old for this shit. Let’s also not pretend that crazy people are a scarcity in the industry. And while we are at it, let’s not be so pompous to think it couldn’t happen to us. Lifestyle dancing is dangerous because it is unrealistic. Unless you LOVE the industry and plan to be in the adult industry for the rest of your life (eventually you will have to quit stripping, at which point it will be the cams, porn sites, escorting, or Dommeing) you need to be able to function outside of it. If the only people who “get you” work in the club, it’s time to reassess.
Some of the problems I see most often are ones that I have myself struggled with from time to time. Some girls are lazy, can’t get out of bed in the daytime, others literally have no idea what to do with authority-they lack the social skills to follow direction. Rage issues, no “filter,” inability to maintain a schedule, inability to connect with people, no desire to do anything that doesn’t result in monetary gain, addiction, codependency, and battered women’s syndrome are just SOME of the many things that strippers have to overcome. You add a career that encourages your behavior, and managers that turn a blind eye, are completely oblivious, or simply don’t care what happens to you, a peer group that has adopted the “sink or swim” approach to life, and a shit ton of untaxed income, sexual assault and complete disregard for your humanity, and you have a recipe for disaster. It’s no wonder most all dancers suffer from PTSD at some point. You are not alone, but you will be if you don’t do something to change the direction of your actions.
Women have SO much more responsibility than men do when it comes to being emotionally stable, if only for one reason. Most of us are already or will be mothers one day. We will literally take on the responsibility of another human life at some point, and like many bad moms, those who end up totally crazy won’t even realize it.
I am asking you to take a look at yourself and do something about it if you are one of these girls. Thinking about it is great, spend some time on that, but start making a plan as soon as you’re ready. During your thinking process, take notes. Your journal is your best friend when making life changes. If your’re writing it down, you are making a commitment. Do that! Commitment is good, failure to commit is a really common stripper problem, so now is a great time to work on that. Start small, do the things you know you SHOULD be doing, but don’t. Something as simple as keeping your bed made when you aren’t in it, keeping an empty sink, or cleaning up after your pets will bolster your “I can do it!” esteem pretty much right away. Taking care of the basics is essential to being able to take care of the extras. The things you need to do to get the ball rolling vary from girl to girl, you know what you need to work on. Start small, don’t give yourself a panic attack, instead reward yourself for your achievements, and counter some of your bad habits with good ones. If you suffer from anxiety, this is seriously one of the best things you can do to alleviate some of that. When “I can’t do it,” is constantly playing in your head, OF COURSE you have anxiety. As of right now, you are broken up with “I can’t.” Your new mantra is, “I’ve got this!”
And you do. You’ve got this. Now get off the internet and go clean your kitchen.
Lots of love,
*Featured Image by Klaus Kampert