Archives For stripper

In order to be a successful stripper, you need to have acute awareness of your body language and also pay attention to that of others. When your product is yourself, it’s important to be aware of what your body is saying to your customer and to be aware of what his body is saying to you. Work gets much easier when you get out of your own head and start using a formula to steer towards a sale and read when you’re getting close.

When you’re there, the customer is asking himself if your time is worth what you are charging for it. I think one thing that girls do when they’re first learning how to strip is slump their shoulders and act shy. Even veteran girls do this when they’re stressed, discouraged, or “over it.”  This effects your wallet! Fake it til you make it!

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Shoulders back, head up.

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How Young is Too Young?

Chase Kelly —  February 20, 2016 — 6 Comments

ROOKIE STRIPPERS, HEAR ME OUT!  Unless you are in a dire situation that you absolutely need to get out of, in my opinion, there is no reason to strip if you are under the age of twenty two.  A beautiful sense of immortality often accompanies youth, and though there are many reasons teenagers shouldn’t strip, the “it can’t happen to me” attitude is number one.  When we are young, we assume that everyone’s intentions are pure, we are blind to red flags.  We learn how to be adults from falling on our faces, looking around and seeing these flags, strategically placed around the areas in our lives that we have hopelessly flubbed.  In time, if we are perceptive, we stop falling on our faces because we learn to see the flags as our warning.  If you haven’t learned what to look for yet, how can you keep yourself safe in the fast pace of the strip club world?  The traps at strip clubs are worse than the traps in the normal world.  If you haven’t learned how to keep your eyes open for super sketchy situations, take your time.  Once you start red flags pop up  around other people and especially around your own behaviour, that’s kind of a decent indicator that you will be able to keep yourself safe.

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Starting stripping too young won’t make you grow up faster either, even though that’s what people who know nothing about it will tell you.  Being a dancer can actually stunt your growth or stop it all together.  I know strippers who are fifty years old who dance because they have no other choice, and I don’t mock them when I say that.  There are of course some women who stay working into maturity because they like the work, or that it’s still lucrative and it is supplemental or funds their passions.  Those are different stories.  I am talking specifically about women who never learned another way of life and have been kept stripping or escorting for much longer than they wanted to be.  In a normal setting, a person moves past that ‘whatever’ mentality as they mature.  They get accolades and responsibilities that give them pride and purpose.  You’ll never have that in a strip club.  This industry enables and encourages irresponsibility and immaturity.  There is a lot of money to be made off of young women in this world, and the longer you stay in, the better you get at making sales, even if you aren’t fresh and nineteen anymore.  If you start working in an environment that encourages (and profits from) your recklessness before you learn your own personal limitations, it restricts you from making that adjustment into the life you want.  Your goals at eighteen are so set in fantasy, you haven’t tried your hand at them yet.  No matter what your age is, if you’re unsure, start by getting a different job at the strip club, like waitress, door girl, or bartender.  Start having a little bit of contact with the girls and customers, but not too much.  See how it makes you feel first, and take your time making the adjustment into dancing if you like it.

4dd549e82610b-preview-620I Remember that I only speak from personal opinion and experience, and of course all things are objective, but I believe that most young dancers are unprepared to make such a life altering decision, even if they are emotionally mature.  One of the recurring themes of this book is habit and pattern. The likelihood of building abnormal habits around love and sex are all too real if you spend the years that you are building a concept of normalcy in a strip club.   Sex should be at least somewhat sacred, and when you put a dollar amount on it, that can be really confusing to a newcomer to the adult dating scene.

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More unnerving than the weird things that can happen to your sex life based on habit is the negativity that can come from trauma in the line of duty.  There are most certainly predators in this environment who consciously target young and inexperienced girls and prey on their naivety, and the outcome can be devastating.  They aren’t always customers, either.  Some of them work with you and are very good at hiding their snakelike intentions.  To young people interested in the adult industry, I always say, “We’ll be here in five years.”  I know many of you nineteen year olds are reading this and shrugging it off, but I can’t stress it enough.  Sometimes I wish I had those extra five years of income, but I would have wasted the money anyway. Nineteen-year-old girls rarely invest in their retirement funds or spend their cash on tuition. If you’re young or unsure if you’re ready, I’ll tell you that I did fine as a waitress and bartender.  It is most certainly generous wages and bottle service waitresses crush most strippers in annual income.

Lots of single moms strip.  It’s not a new concept, we all know how expensive and exhausting it is to be a mother, and there are few jobs as flexible and lucrative as stripping  to help you along the way if your sperm donor isn’t holding up his end (and even if he is.)  It’s not a crime to dance and be a mom.  It’s normal for lots of people, and really it’s better than exposing your children to poverty.  Children shouldn’t have to handle that reality.  There are other realities that come along with it that they shouldn’t have to handle either, frankly.  I am not a mom, so I have been hesitant to post about motherhood and stripping, but a discussion I walked in on last week has backed me into a corner.  I have to write this or my conscience won’t let me forget it.  I hope it helps someone out there.

I’m not a mom, but I had a mom.  My mom did some sketchy shit, let me be really up front.  Her dating life was weird and I was privy to more of it than I should have been, to be honest.  The older I get, the easier it is to piece together all the weird things she got involved with that likely eclipsed the parts of her that I was aware of.  As a kid though, everything in my life seemed normal.  That’s really true for all of us.  When you’re a child, you lack the range of experience to be able to compare yourself to what’s actually normal.  This is the kind of thing that follows us throughout our lives.  The stuff your mom let you be a part of molded you, and the stuff she excluded you from, if she was good enough at concealing it, hopefully didn’t infect your young mind and distort you.  Ideally, your mom’s weirdness doesn’t become apparent until you are old enough to be able to digest it…in other words, until you have the scope you needed in order to determine if it’s right or wrong.

 

I was protected from a lot, thank god, but the stuff I wasn’t protected from has formed the core of my own personal struggle.  Relationships were the weak spot my mom exposed me to, and now forming a healthy one has become greatest challenge. My mom tried to hide things from me, but of course, kids are SMART.  Not everything was concealed as well as she thought it was.  Nevertheless, her intentions were good: adult stuff was for Mom, and kid stuff was for me.  I have my suspicions about what my mom did while raising me to supplement her income, but I have no proof at all.  No part of my childhood includes memories of my mom as anything but my mom.  Whatever she did for work was a blissful mystery to me.

In my fourteen years in the industry, though, I have seen some other approaches to parenthood.  Some were bearable, although you do feel bad for the thirteen year old boy who knows his mom strips in the town they live in, but technically, not illegal, and definitely not the worst case.  I have seen toddlers with Daddy playing in the parking lot at two thirty AM, waiting for Mommy to come home.  I have seen babysitters storm into dressing rooms drunk, screaming, “Your kids in the car!  He’s been in that bitch all night!  Get your ass home!” and thought to myself, “Is this it?  Is this when we call CPS?” (CPS stands for Child Protective Services, for those of you who don’t know.)

Last week, I walked in on a dressing room convo between two girls I don’t know at all.  I was guesting at a club I don’t usually work at.  I was touching up my face next to a couple girls talking about Seeking Arrangement, and my nosey ass opened my ears up for the convo.  I’m going to name the girls Pink and Green for the colors they were wearing.

Pink: I didn’t really have a choice, I had no babysitter.

Green: You ALWAYS have a choice.  Listen to me.  Don’t EVER bring your kid on a date with a dude.  Ever.

Pink: No it’s cool.  She’s only two and a half, she don’t know what’s going on.  She just sat and chilled while we ate.  It’s not like we did anything, it was just lunch.

Green: Yo.  Seriously, kids are smart.  That’s not cool, don’t do that.

Pink: We weren’t fuckin or nothing.  It was just a date to talk about maybe if it was gonna work, but that site is wack.  It probably won’t be anything.

Green: You’re not really listening to me, so fuck it, do what you want, but listen.  I’ve been a ho.  I’ve been a two hundred dollar ho, and I’ve been a two thousand dollar ho, but none of it has had anything to do with a kid.  I’m not judging you but you cannot bring your kid on dates with tricks.  A trick is a trick, and you cannot involve your kid with any part of it.

[OK THIS SHIT IS RAW AND PINK LEGIT IS IGNORING HER.  I interject because I can’t keep my mouth shut ever.]

Me: Listen to her, dude.  She’s right, this girl is smart.  You should thank her for taking the time to talk to you, she could save your kids life.

Green: Your daughter is smart and you are writing on her soul.  You can’t undo that.  She is a little girl.  If you want to write on your daughters soul, that’s your choice, but she will live with what you teach her for the rest of her life.

I think it stuck with Pink.  Really.  It stuck with me.  I hope it did, because what she shows her baby will certainly stick with her.

Your kids are only young once.  You think they’re tough, you think they can handle reality, you think you’re doing your best all the time, and I hear that.  Parenthood looks hard as hell and I commend every one of you who handle it like the bosses you are, but a little discretion goes a long way.  It is your job as a parent to protect your child from things that might hurt him or her.  Your job is most certainly one of those things.  The more you do it, the more normal it becomes for you, but this line of work is not normal for most adults.  Don’t poison your kid’s soul by making it normal for him or for her.  Sex is for when we understand it.  No two year old, five year old, or ten year old needs to know about it.  In fact, when you DO start talking about sex, please make sure you’re doing it for him or for her, when he or she is ready.  Your sex life does not have to be a part of your child’s life. To Ms. Green, thank you.  You are the realest one.  I wish we had gotten to know each other better.

To Miss Pink, I hope you heard her.  I hope you hold your baby close and keep her safe from all of it.  If I were a mom, I wouldn’t even bring my shoes home, y’all.  For real.  My prayers to her and to you and to all of your babies.  Keep them in their blissful youth for as long as you can, quit this job, and let them see you shine in whatever your dream job may be.  Inspire those kids, man!

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Stripper in Solitude

Chase Kelly —  October 5, 2015 — 4 Comments

Even if you are a really great stripper and a really great person, there will be a time in your stripping career that it seems like every person you work with hates you.  It’s a thing, I think, that happens to most every woman at some point, whether you’re a stripper or not.  Girls do this community thing that can be really beautiful, but the dark side shows when you are the one on the outside of the clique.  Sex work is alienating enough, so when you combine the discomfort of being naked for strangers with feeling unwelcome at the club, it can send you into an emotional whirlwind.  Being the lone soldier can feel stifling, but you aren’t stifled.  You’re good, girl.  There are healthy ways to deal with this kind of stuff that actually work in your favor.  There are also very unhealthy ways to deal with it that will leave you broke and questioning every choice you’ve ever made.  No matter which direction you focus your energy, a domino effect is bound to happen.

1408681384222When we do something positive in one aspect of our lives, it tends to have a positive impact on other parts.  In these scenarios, when you’re feeling totally alone and depressed, there are things you can focus on that will make you feel better which will in turn make you a better person and in turn will make you more money.  You don’t have to turn self conscious, you don’t have to let it ruin your money, and you don’t have to deal with it at all, really.  You can control your emotions and your actions to get the results that you want from your life, and like 50 said, “If they hate then let em hate and watch the money pile up.”

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The simple answer, obviously, is to find another club.  Unless you live somewhere that you are at the only nearby club, you could just go somewhere else where you don’t know anyone.  Eventually, people will find someone else to pick on and you could go back to your old club, but who knows, by then maybe you’ll love the new club more.  Maybe you love your club or have no other options, though!  Maybe you have regulars, feel safe, comfortable, and happy!  It’s probably the case, actually, because no one picks on the girl who isn’t a threat.  That’s the simple solution, but life isn’t as simple as it should be, really.

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Being the new girl is always a bread winner, and it’s good to feel uncomfortable at a strip club.  The feeling of “home” keeps us from working.  If you’ve been at your club for more than a year, you know you are guilty of putting your feet up and gossiping in the dressing room instead of working.  You know sometimes you straight up ignore customers so you can finish your conversation.  Don’t kid yourself!  You could be making more money and dealing with fewer haters.  People aren’t always welcoming to the “new girl” but best believe they don’t have any dirt on you!

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Maybe switching clubs isn’t an option, though.  Maybe it’s not appealing to you at all and you’re staying put no matter what.  Cool!  I applaud your resilience.  You have no choice but to be on top of your game.  You have to look great and let the haters be your motivation…this should be your truest test of how great of a dancer you are.  If you can smile the warmest smile to that fifty year old finance exec in the Prada loafers and look through your enemies as though they aren’t even there, you have officially made it.  There is no reason to bring up people’s distaste of you unless the customer notices it and brings it to your attention.  At that point, laugh it off and drop it!  “Yeah, girls can get a little jealous sometimes, but they’re all nice enough girls.  Im just gonna stay with you until they find someone else to pick on!” ::wink wink::

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Don’t fuel the fire.  Don’t talk about it at all.  Let their anger hurt their money, but don’t let someone else’s negativity take cash from your hand!  No one has control over you.  You came to work to work, and you aren’t letting a bunch of girls who don’t pay your bills determine your income.  Girl, you’re doing it.  You should be top earner every night you are the most hated.  If not, stay home.  Find another club.  Figure out why everyone hates you and fix it.

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by Dre Dee

No matter how carefully you warm up, or how much you stretch after you’re done with your pole dancing workout, you’re bound to injure yourself at some point while doing pole tricks. Although injury is inevitable, how you care for your injury can make all the difference in whether the injury heals or becomes an ongoing problem.

Here are some common issues strippers and pole dancers face when working the pole and how to care for them.*

1) Pulled Muscle (Muscle Strain)

Muscle strain is usually an acute injury (meaning the onset is sudden) and occurs when a muscle is torn. Strains are usually caused from stretching a muscle too far, but can also be caused by exerting the muscle too forcefully, such as lifting something too heavy or pulling too forcefully. In pole, commonly pulled muscles include muscles of the neck, upper back, and arms.

What it feels like: Pain from a muscle strain is usually present right after the injury occurs and is sharp. The severity of pain can range from mild to severe. In more severe strains, bruising and swelling can occur.

What to do:

– Rest the injured area for 1-5 days, depending on how badly the muscle was injured and pain level.

– Consider an anti-inflammatory to help reduce swelling and pain. Ibuprofen is a common anti-inflammatory and I’ve been told to take 600 mg in order to have an anti-inflammatory effect. Your dosage should be determined by your doctor as dosages can be different for different people. Generally, you should not take more than 2400 mg per day. Taking Ibuprofen with milk or food can avoid stomach issues that can occur.

– Avoid immobilizing the injury – gentle active range of motion and stretching with little to no pain is best. Be sure to move the injured area slowly and avoid movements that increase or cause pain.

2) Tendon or Ligament Strains

Tendon or ligament strains are generally more serious than muscle strains because ligaments and tendons take longer to heal. Tendons and ligaments connect muscle or bone to bone and have less blood flow to them than muscles do – this is why they take longer to heal. The length of time it takes for tendons or ligaments to heal obviously depends on how badly they were injured, where in the body they are located, and how much they are used during the healing process. Generally, it should take 4-6 weeks to heal if rested and stretched properly.

What to do:

The course of treatment for tendon or ligament strains can vary greatly. Generally, right after the injury RICE (Rest Ice Compression Elevation) is the best way to reduce initial inflammation. After inflammation subsides, alternating heat and cold, gentle stretching and active range of motion are best.

3) Wrist Pain

Wrist pain is very common in pole for obvious reasons, and is also a common symptom of floor work. To prevent wrist pain, remember to always warm up your wrists before doing any level of pole and stretch them afterwards.  Also try to distribute your weight evenly when placing your hands flat on the stage.

What to do:

Follow the RICE protocol as long as pain and/or inflammation is present (Rest Ice Compression Elevation). Depending on what is injured, it may take a couple days to a few weeks for pain to completely go away. An elastic wrist support is a good way to provide compression and reduce inflammation, especially if you have to continue using the wrist. Be careful not to leave a wrist support on for too long though.

One type of wrist injury is nerve compression. There are three nerves in the wrist – the ulnar, median, and radial nerves.

Compression of the ulnar nerve is common in the bottom hand in bracket or split grips. Tingling or numbness are usually signs of a nerve compression or issue. The best thing to do is to avoid movements that are going to cause further compression, follow RICE protocol, and give the nerve enough time to heal before attempting further activity.

Performing gentle wrist stretches and active range of motion may also help. It is important to have ongoing or persistent pain in the wrist looked at by a doctor.

For All Injuries:

Remember to take it slow as you return to activities and work on strengthening and stretching the affected area gradually. Once fully healed, it is important to continue to strengthen and stretch the injured area to avoid future injuries.

Do you have an injury you have a question about? E-mail me.

Also, don’t forget to check the site later as I add more info!

 

*Disclaimer: Always consult your doctor before taking any medications or following this or any medical advice. A doctor is the only one qualified to diagnose your injury and decide on treatment.

by: WiscoStripper

When you are first becoming a stripper, you meet all sorts of new challenges.  When it comes to almost all things, the motto is “All things are difficult before they are easy.”

One of the most difficult relationships to master is the one you have with the DJ. There are tons of great DJs in the industry that know exactly how long a song should be, which girls dance to what, and keep rotation nice and equal, but you already know how to handle those guys.  Here are the two most frustrating types we’ve encountered and how we deal with them.

 

The “god complex” DJ

This person sits in their booth all night like it’s the royal throne. They decide the music so respect them, or expect to hear, “Oh you mere mortals try to tell ME what to play? You want to hear T-pain??….hahaha here is Toby Keith!”  He doesn’t care what’s best for you or the club, just his own ego.  What is even worse is when you don’t tip him, he will refuse to ever play your music.  The natural response to this egomaniac is, “Why should I tip a DJ who didn’t play my music, or verbally abused me before playing a song or two I like?” The natural response isn’t the most effective, however.   We are professional entertainers, and as professionals, we have to simply: Suck it up, be humble, tip, and hope that you can change the course of the relationship.

The  “forgetful” DJ

At the beginning of the night he is personable, life of the party, you want to hear that song hell yeah I’ll play that! Then a few hours into his shift things start to go down hill. Those shots of Patron’ that everyone was buying him are starting to kick in. His speech is a little incoherent (did he call Katie or Casey?!?!) and all of a sudden the club turns into what HE wants to rock out to all night.  Usually these guys are pretty nice, so if you can, before your set leave him a list of songs you love so he can queue them up on the computer.  I try to do this two girls before my set so I don’t have to rush to stage. Some girls will try to tip him at the end of the night, but he’s usually pretty hammered by then, so I find that tipping him at the beginning of the night for the day before works best. He remembers that I did tip, and that puts him in a great mood to start out his night.  Bitching about this guy or to him will do no good.  I just joke with him, and if I end up dancing to something I can’t stand, I try not to let it ruin my mood; my mood makes the money, not my music.

The “I’m grandfathered in” DJ

There are some DJ’s that are just part of the boys club.  They are friends with every male staff member and have slept with half of the girls.  They basically create drama everywhere they go, and none of it effects them in the least.  Girls fight over him, he calls girls names, he forces himself on girls and actually gets away with it.  Unfortunately, this is business and your personal beliefs need to come second to your money.  I say be cordial to this guy, even though you probably hate him. Tip him $5-$10 above the minimum every night consistently, and keep your distance personally.  Don’t gossip about him and definitely don’t develop a crush on him.  He has the upper hand, and you need to get this money, girl!  No one is saying put your morals on the back burner, but definitely save your emotions for something that you can control.  Just pay him to do his job, leave the character judgement to the silly girls who go to bed with him.

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The one thing I try to remind all girls, new and old, when dealing with anyone who works in the club is that this job is exhausting. No matter if you’re a Dancer, DJ, Bartender, or bouncer this industry can wear you down. Cut people some slack. If the DJ is grumpy, let him be grumpy, don’t penalize him because today he wasn’t in the best of moods and so instead of your rock music he felt like hearing some R&B. Is it fair to do to you? No. Think about this though, most strippers make their own schedule. If we are having an emotionally or physically exhausting day. We can choose to stay home. If the DJ is…he still has to show up. Just that fact alone, I try to empathize the best I can, and I encourage you do too. This may make your relationship with your DJ just a little better, and could turn a god complex DJ into a friendly I’ll play what you want DJ.

written by: WiscoStripper @wistripper

Biased out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin I was born and raised in southeastern WI. Though I only started dancing a year and a half ago, I have used it as an ally of self expression to push my way into other performance arts. I currently practice the Arial hoop, or Lyra, and have begun to compete and showcase my talent in it. I also am an avid fan of burlesque dancing. My recent interest into burlesque has led me to begin to practice with a burlesque group out of Kalamazoo, Mi. I thoroughly enjoy performing, but just like everyone else I can get burned out pretty easy. One way I find to deal with that is to write. My blogging, and podcasting, in the past has been an outlet for stress from my environment. This has brought me to http://www.SurvivetheClub.com. I hope that with writing I can not only find an outlet for myself, but to inspire and assist others to share their experiences and to improve their situations. Through Twitter, blogging, and in the future podcasting I hope to create a network of outreach for entertainers across the globe.

I feel like this statement needs to be shouted from the rooftops of every building in every city in every country, and in every language, but especially it needs to be said to strippers and sex workers.  You are not a whore no matter what anyone says about it.  Your job DOES NOT determine your character, and it does not eclipse your values.  Many of you have had arguments with close friends and significant others in which the person/people you love most will tell you that you’re worthless.  “You’re a whore and no one will ever want you.”  is something I wish I could say I’ve only heard once, and only heard from one person I loved.  Talk about something that could cause a person to start to die inside.  But no matter what they say, don’t self stigmatize, do not believe it.  I wish one blog post could undo that feeling for those of you who have had it (and will in the future).  I wish it could undo it for me.

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This is the second best thing.  I can teach you what I’ve learned and I can show you how I’ve grown.  When people cut you down, when society does it to you over and over, when dead hooker jokes are on primetime television as though that girl is not a person, it’s easy to start considering it, even in the back of your mind.  When people say things like that it is because they feel weak and they need to kick you down.  Then they use your broken spirit as a step ladder to their own validation.  Do not give anyone that power.  Refuse to lower yourself to the “you” they want you to be.  Elevate.

The truth is that who you are is based on your character, which can suffer from being in this industry, but it’s mostly because of the associated lifestyle, not from the job itself.  I can sit here for hours and go on and on about how it’s the oldest job and that there’s nothing wrong with using your body for money, but you already know that.  If people you love are cutting you down, you don’t have stripper problems.  You have boyfriend problems, girlfriend problems, family problems, and maybe even identity problems, but being a stripper, escort, sugar baby, cam girl, dominatrix, or any other type of industry performer is not the problem, and it’s definitely not who you are.

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Your job doesn’t need to demean you, and if you feel like stripping makes you less of a person–you should quit.  Now.  Even if you don’t know what you’re going to do or how you’re going to do it; trust me-you’ll figure it out.  Work one more shift, make it a money night, and call it a day because really, you deserve so much more.  Maybe you can be a waitress or maybe a customer you know can help you find a 9-5, maybe you can live off of your savings until you figure something out (because you saved, right?)
If you are a stripper and you’re having a hard time with your identity, you can figure it out.  You can determine what is going to define you.  Instead of going shopping for your 100th pair of cheeky panties, you can make a plan to implement some community service or charity into your life.  Instead of sleeping in bed all day and ordering delivery every night for dinner, learn to cook, or at least get great at dining out.  Developing your other “non-stripping” skills and values is going to be essential to feeling like you are a real human being with a real purpose in life.

Untitled 6At some point I stopped being a stripper and became an entertainer (when I learned to dress myself and perform on stage and give a great lap dance).  Next, I graduated from being an entertainer and became a hustler (when I learned about sales, especially in the commodity industries), and now I have a day job in a luxury industry, because instead of seeing me as a useless stripper, smart people saw that I was a well developed individual with integrity, honesty, work ethic, intelligence, knowledge, and hustle.

If you let it, money will replace passion and drive in your life, so don’t coast.  Spend your time defining yourself, and it will be much easier to identify the TRUE problems in your life (like the people who drag you down and diminish your self worth) and get rid of them, or better yet use them as a ladder and climb.

happy hustling, you beautiful humans

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It’s 2014, and I am holding you to your resolutions for the year by going the extra mile. Going public with your goals on facebook, twitter, etc. DOES help you fulfill them, but in this social media world where they are *poof* gone in 30 seconds, you have to wonder if it’s really enough. So here’s to the declaration of goals! I’ve reposted you here, for all of your peers to lurk. Thanks for being my twitter friends in 2012 and 2013. I am excited to be a part of your next chapter!

And for those of you who are already gettin’ it!

Hey, Tami- me too. My new years resolution this year is to only dance the weekends. My new job starts tomorrow! Are you worried about a pay cut? How are you supplementing?

and everyone knows how much I love sassy, defiant women. You are beautiful exactly as you are.

And thank you, LoveDove. I spent my Christmas this year finding out that I had been cheated on repeatedly by girls who were well aware of my existence. We certainly can’t rely on men to keep solidarity between women, but we can pledge it to each other. Thank you for not fucking my boyfriends in 2014. I love you all! Happy new year!

For those of you who are learning to strip this year, or want to pull yourself out of your slump, I do private one on one consultations for the price of two lapdances.

Follow SurvivetheClub on Twitter for more stripper action.

I’m a nosy person, so I keep an eye on what y’all google that lands you here at SurviveTheClub.com.  Mostly it’s “How to be a stripper” “Become a stripper” “How to strip” “Learn To strip” “Stripper Tips”, etc, etc. but today I saw a really interesting search that landed a girl here, and maybe it’s something we need to talk about.  This girl googled “can stripping ruin my career?”

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While what you do in your personal time SHOULD be your business, and you shouldn’t be judged for it, the reality is that if you want to keep your life a secret, find one of those jobs filling out online surveys online and NEVER LEAVE YOUR HOUSE.  If you want to get into the adult industry in any way, I have to tell you that people WILL find out, and they WILL have opinions.  Whether it’s your coworkers or your family members, the risk is high that people will at some point condemn you either publicly or privately for being a stripper.  In my years in this industry, I have seen girls get thrown under the bus by siblings, stalkers, former classmates, frenemies, nemeses, and my personal favorite: their boyfriends.  The fact that you dance, if you choose to keep it a secret from your coworkers or family or significant other, will inevitably become ammunition for anyone who ends up “in the loop” of your life.  Your secret can become your greatest weakness, as secrets often do.

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Maybe if you traveled to work and told no one about your job, you could get away with it–maybe–but this job is very isolating and not having anyone you can talk to about it could drive a sane woman mad.  If you decide to dance and you don’t want people to know, I highly recommend a therapist who you can vent to about work.  If you ARE going through this experience all alone, you might consider getting active in some online communities.  Rebecca has forums for girls who are in enrolled in stripper school and there are also some forums on stripperweb.  I have met a couple girls who swear by sticking to yourself at the club and in life in order to keep yourself as “normal” as possible, but if you’re like me, normal isn’t as important as happy.  I feel blessed to have experienced the good times and the bad with friends.  Having the freedom to be “out” about my job has made me less vulnerable to stigmatization and self-hatred through this leg of my journey.  I’m not sure if I could have handled juggling dancing and building a career. The stress of being found out and taken down would be too strong.

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The great conundrum about dancing is that it’s too “grown up” for most girls under 24, but a good chunk of girls over 24 are too “grown up” to jeopardize their reputations with the label.  Do you have experience juggling work and a job?  Share your stories in the comments.  We need to talk!

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The thing that I hear strippers complain most about and also probably is the most emotionally draining part of the job (when you first start stripping, at least) is that guys insist on touching, grabbing, pinching, licking, biting, and blowing on you.  Not only does it feel like a complete violation of your bits, it’s also really ridiculous for a guy to expect to touch you like that for a measly $20.  Once upon a time, strippers could just dominate guys out of doing that, and sometimes the dominatrix act even made them more money–but this isn’t the nineties.  These days there are LOTS of entertainers and way fewer fetishists in the clubs.  There are tons of lawsuits (don’t believe me, google it), and the popular image of women has shifted back to “fun girl” from “fierce girl.”  Beating a guy off of you and yelling at him is going to hurt your money, especially if the dances at your club are on the floor where other guys could witness it.  No matter WHO was in the wrong, you are going to look like the crazy one.  He isn’t insane for trying to touch you.  You are hot, he is a dog.  He can’t help it–so use your grace and charm and smile to keep your boundaries firm.

A young girl I used to dance with would jump up and say, “OMG, I just really didn’t expect you to touch me like that!”  and guys would feel awful.  They would see her as a “good girl” and many would pay her for her time after that.

I like to say, “Oh no baby, you can’t touch me like that out here, I’ll get in trouble.  We have private rooms though, where we can get a little closer.”   Next thing you know I am in a VIP room, and I honestly spend the majority of the time talking.

Does yelling at him to sit on his hands save you?  Yeah, it does, for that song, but the likelihood of that guy stacking dances with you diminishes (and if he likes you enough to lick your nasty stage body, he likes you enough to spend money on you) the second you cop an attitude.  Successful strippers know that keeping his desire alive is what makes him pay you and it’s what makes him upgrade.  Biting his head off might make you feel better for the moment, but controlling your impulses is integral to boosting your sales.  You might hate this guy right now, but if you handle things with finesse and grace, you just might end up turning your horny dog into the guy who pays your rent every month.