Every stripper is an extras girl

Soon after becoming a stripper, you will realize that we spend a lot of time judging each other, personal boundaries become a standard by which a girl’s character is determined.  Self esteem issues and shame are abound in the club, and often girls use the “I’m better than you because at least I’m not a ho,” logic to bolster their own egos.  How many people have looked down on you unfairly because of your job?  More than a few, I bet, but that ivy league girl you went to high school with who has no daddy issues and a rich family is no better than you because she has never taken her clothes off for money.  You are no better than a girl who allows people to touch her or escorts on the side based on her boundaries.  Different things work for different people.  If you have ever met a “pro-ho” you know what I’m talking about.  These are the girls who are very professional, handle their business, are comfortable with what they’re doing, they don’t hurt the business of the club (if they work in one), and they are discreet in their business should they choose to conduct it somewhere that discretion is necessary.  They know what their boundaries are and respect them, they don’t need to take a xanax or a shot to do their business, and it’s because they are totally OK with it–the same way good strippers are totally OK with taking off their tops and/or panties.  Many girls have paid their way through school, travelled the world, or retired early on escort money, and really, if you do the same with your stripper money, how are you guys any different?  You CAN determine a person’s value based on their actions, but not based on their boundaries.

The ONLY time it is OK to judge someone based on their boundaries is if you can tell they are in over their head, and it should be less of a judgement and more of an observation.  It isn’t uncommon to see girls who are addicts, or playing a supporting role in a codependent relationship, or working under a pimp in this industry, but those girls are different.  Those girls need help, not judgement, and you are compounding their problems by shit talking them.  If you have something to say, let it be encouraging words of kindness, don’t sit in the back and laugh at these poor babies.  They are going through it, probably worse than you can imagine.  Your kindness might be the difference between life and death for someone.  Realize the impact of your words.

The truth is, in one way or another we are all extras girls.  If you aren’t charging extra money for things like fetishes, role playing, dirty talk, an hour of “chillin”,  or whatever else your market wants, you are missing out.  I am not suggesting that you should give extra mileage to customers.  I don’t think it’s necessarily the best idea to turn tricks within the club, in fact it can be a really terrible idea since strip clubs are hot spots for vice raids, and I am not saying you should turn tricks in general, but what I am saying is that there is more money in the club than just lap dance money, it’s up to you hustle it, and stop being negative towards others.  It’s not helping you or the club AT ALL.  If you are one of the girls who sit in the dressing room complaining that there is “no money because so-and-so is a ho,” you are losing money because you’re being lazy, you have a negative attitude, and you don’t have the right focus, not because so-and-so sells extras.  If the club you are in is an extras club and you don’t sell them, quit.  You will eventually get taken down in a raid for someone else’s indiscretion.  If you work at a club with a few extras girls, consider yourself a regular old stripper.  Every club has at least one, and if it doesn’t affect my money, it shouldn’t affect yours!

Stop the hate, show support, believe in UNITY.  We can help each other, and that is a beautiful gift.

xx

Chase

Explosions in his pants

Oh, the horror. The dread. The sheer disgust you experience the first time a customer climaxes during your dance. If you haven’t had the pleasure yet, it’s probably best that you prepare yourself now. Unless you work in a no contact club, the chances of this happening are pretty good. Lots of these guys haven’t been laid in a very long time, and you are so beautiful and lovely with your nipples pointing skyward and that perfect lil booty! As an adult entertainer, this is just one more of the adult dilemmas you will be faced with. But what are you supposed to do?

The first step would be to avoid having this happen in the first place. Some girls grind in lap dances, some don’t. That is totally your prerogative and neither is better than the other, but if you are a grinder, I highly recommend taking grind breaks. Only grind in the same position for a few seconds, 10-20 tops. I think it’s a good idea to have a few “pose” moves that you do during your dance which require little to no movement, and maybe little to no contact as well to let him wind down before you transition into the next move.

Secondly, you should use your judgement. I am going to assume that most strippers have had at least *some* sexual experience and can tell when a guy is really turned on. Some clues that your Joe is about to blow include: a change in breathing, seemingly voluntary hip thrusting (may actually be involuntary, like dogs when they hump. ugh), and his penis becoming much more erect. The chances are that your guy will have a boner for at least some of the dance, but if it is so rock hard that it is bruising your ass cheek, you might want to ease up a little.

If you can tell the guy is aroused enough that he might orgasm, that’s great. Hold him there as long as you can. When a guy is on the edge, he literally can’t say no. Your goal is not to make him cum in his pants, it’s to make him *almost* cum in his pants.

If you did everything you could to avoid the explosion, but the sad wet spot appeared anyway, you need to go ahead and do some damage control. Avoid the instinct to freak out. Don’t tell the man that he is disgusting, even if he is! Why on earth would you do that??? An orgasm isn’t disgusting, and if someone ever condemned you for having one, you would feel either angry or traumatized, depending on your feelings for the person pointing the angry finger at you. If you stayed within your comfortable boundaries, you should be proud to be able to bring a man to orgasm without bending them! Take this as a compliment, no matter how grossed out you are. It’s totally ok to laugh or act uncomfortable, but it is NOT ok to embarrass this man and make him feel like a dirty monster. You signed up for this job, if you don’t like that men have biological reactions to your beautiful body, then maybe you should try telemarketing. It also pays quite well!

I know, you are grossed out. Girl, so am I, but I am an adult. I can handle all situations gracefully (although I have been known to use antics to get my way if I know it will work!) That’s what makes me an entertainer. You have two choices, you can act uncomfortable, or you can act proud. You need to decide what works best with your personality and what will work best on that particular customer, but make sure you handle it without putting him on blast (at least to other customers…it’s totally expected that you warn the other girls and try not to slut shame the girl who doesn’t care and dances for him anyway.)
I usually just laugh. I say, “Wow! I didn’t really expect that, but who could blame a guy!?” and I make sure I tell him that his little thrill just cost him extra. If you’re in VIP or a champagne room, you can get away with charging hundreds more, but if the guy is clearly an average Joe Blow, you are probably going to have to settle for less. I wouldn’t ever ask for less than $50 personally. Keep in mind that I am only talking about climaxes caused with his pants ON with no genital contact. I am not suggesting you sell extras for $50 (please don’t!!).
He is probably going to want to make a quick escape and sometimes asks you to stop mid song. You have to be quick with quoting him a price. Before he even asks what he owes, get off his lap and quote him your price. If he questions it or says “but I only got 3 dances!” you say, “Your thrill cost extra! That was your tip, I certainly deserve mine!” or something cute and witty like that. Remember not to be mad. Mad doesn’t work in this situation! If he refuses to tip you, you probably just need to fold, unless you think your manager would agree that cumming in your pants warrants a tip. You know your managers, so act accordingly, just don’t act crazy! Remember that your little story is nothing new to club management, so acting like it’s the end of the world won’t get you far.
It’s not the end of the world. If you think it is, this job might be a little rougher than you had originally anticipated. I wish you the best of luck!

Until next time, try not to grind so damned hard, and have a great week!
xx
Chase