Soon after becoming a stripper, you will realize that we spend a lot of time judging each other, personal boundaries become a standard by which a girl’s character is determined. Self esteem issues and shame are abound in the club, and often girls use the “I’m better than you because at least I’m not a ho,” logic to bolster their own egos. How many people have looked down on you unfairly because of your job? More than a few, I bet, but that ivy league girl you went to high school with who has no daddy issues and a rich family is no better than you because she has never taken her clothes off for money. You are no better than a girl who allows people to touch her or escorts on the side based on her boundaries. Different things work for different people. If you have ever met a “pro-ho” you know what I’m talking about. These are the girls who are very professional, handle their business, are comfortable with what they’re doing, they don’t hurt the business of the club (if they work in one), and they are discreet in their business should they choose to conduct it somewhere that discretion is necessary. They know what their boundaries are and respect them, they don’t need to take a xanax or a shot to do their business, and it’s because they are totally OK with it–the same way good strippers are totally OK with taking off their tops and/or panties. Many girls have paid their way through school, travelled the world, or retired early on escort money, and really, if you do the same with your stripper money, how are you guys any different? You CAN determine a person’s value based on their actions, but not based on their boundaries.
The ONLY time it is OK to judge someone based on their boundaries is if you can tell they are in over their head, and it should be less of a judgement and more of an observation. It isn’t uncommon to see girls who are addicts, or playing a supporting role in a codependent relationship, or working under a pimp in this industry, but those girls are different. Those girls need help, not judgement, and you are compounding their problems by shit talking them. If you have something to say, let it be encouraging words of kindness, don’t sit in the back and laugh at these poor babies. They are going through it, probably worse than you can imagine. Your kindness might be the difference between life and death for someone. Realize the impact of your words.
The truth is, in one way or another we are all extras girls. If you aren’t charging extra money for things like fetishes, role playing, dirty talk, an hour of “chillin”, or whatever else your market wants, you are missing out. I am not suggesting that you should give extra mileage to customers. I don’t think it’s necessarily the best idea to turn tricks within the club, in fact it can be a really terrible idea since strip clubs are hot spots for vice raids, and I am not saying you should turn tricks in general, but what I am saying is that there is more money in the club than just lap dance money, it’s up to you hustle it, and stop being negative towards others. It’s not helping you or the club AT ALL. If you are one of the girls who sit in the dressing room complaining that there is “no money because so-and-so is a ho,” you are losing money because you’re being lazy, you have a negative attitude, and you don’t have the right focus, not because so-and-so sells extras. If the club you are in is an extras club and you don’t sell them, quit. You will eventually get taken down in a raid for someone else’s indiscretion. If you work at a club with a few extras girls, consider yourself a regular old stripper. Every club has at least one, and if it doesn’t affect my money, it shouldn’t affect yours!
Stop the hate, show support, believe in UNITY. We can help each other, and that is a beautiful gift.